The Lost Saint Release

If you're in the area, you should come to the launch party for The Lost Saint, the next book in Bree Despain's Dark Divine series.  Tonight at 7:00, at The King's English.  I will be the official bouncer, which will include taking names (literally because I'm on Post-it duty) and kicking booty (if necessary...keeping my fingers crossed on this one because nothing would complete my holidays than some good martial arts action.)

Click here for more info.

The Voices in My Daughter's Head

Kea and Maile got in a lot of trouble recently.  Anyway, after getting in trouble, Maile tells Kea she would like to talk to her privately.  They then proceed to hide under a blanket, where we can still hear them clearly.

Maile: My bad angel is talking to me, and he's telling me it's all your fault.
Kea: What? You were part of it too.
Maile: Sorry, I can't help it.  That's just what he's telling me.
Kea: But you got in trouble too.
Maile: Okay, let me talk to my angels . . . Nope, my bad angel is still telling me to be mad at you.

Lump of coal for Christmas, here we come.

Best Christmas Ever

Except for a lump of coal, the kids are pretty much getting nothing on Christmas Day.  Why?  They fight non-stop, and it drives me crazy.  So a few weeks ago, I told them they'd better stop fighting or Santa wouldn't bring them any presents.

Kea: Santa doesn't care if we fight.
Me: How do you know? 
Kea: Trust me.  Santa doesn't care if we fight.
Me: Is that something you really want to test?
Kea: Let me tell you something.  I fight with Maile all the time, and I've never had a bad Christmas yet.

Bring it on, girl.  Bring. It. On.  Let me just say this has been the most stress-free shopping for Christmas I have ever done.

When People Go Extinct

Me: Did you guys get new recess monitors?
Kea: Yeah.  I'm pretty sure Miss Pauline is extinct because I haven't seen her anywhere.

Poor Miss Pauline.

Well just a reminder that tomorrow night at 7:00 p.m. MST (9:00 p.m. EST), I will be doing an interview with my critique group, The SIX.    Here's a reminder of how to participate.

1: At the appointed time, dial
1-218-862-7200
(long distance charges may apply, depending on your phone plan)

2: Enter the Conference Code: 245657

3: To raise your hand and ask a question, dial 5*

4: To Mute yourself, dial 4*

For more information, you can visit their site at http://www.authorsadvisory.blogspot.com/

Weekend Update

This weekend was a little busier than usual because Grant was in Hawaii, so I got to run the kids around to all their various places.  Highlights include

Violin Concert: In which Maile played with only a few tears beforehand.  At the end, all of the high school and middle school kids joined together to play some final songs.  Though Kea didn't know any of the songs, she thought she would join in . . . without her violin.  So here she is just sitting randomly among the group.

Haircuts: For all three of us.

Soccer Game: In which Kea's team beat an all boys team.  Three boys went off the field crying at various times due to injuries inflicted by her team, but only one of them was caused by Kea.  She absolutely flattened him to the ground.

Narnia movie: In which I got seasick because it was in 3-D and mostly on water.  Maile was sobbing at the end because she thought it was so sad.  Fortunately she had my sleeve to use as a tissue.

TV watching:  Started watching re-runs of Veronica Mars.  Veronica, where have you been my whole life?

And finally, dinner at my parents house with cute nephews and nieces.

Anyway, for all you writers, on Thursday, December 16 at 9:00 p.m. EST (7:00 p.m. MST), I will be doing an interview with my critique group, The SIX.  We'll be discussing writing groups and how to break into publishing.  I probably won't say anything profound, but you can gain infinite wisdom from the rest of the group.  This is all part of David Farland's Authors' Advisory Conference Calls.

How to Participate

1: At the appointed time, dial
1-218-862-7200
(long distance charges may apply, depending on your phone plan)

2: Enter the Conference Code: 245657

3: To raise your hand and ask a question, dial 5*

4: To Mute yourself, dial 4*

For more information, you can visit their site at http://www.authorsadvisory.blogspot.com/

Another Lesson in Bad Words

For Showcase Friday, Kea wanted  me to post a picture of a creation she had made with one of those Rubiks snakes, the toy from the 80s that looks like this:

But it really wasn't that great.  So rather than sharing something she created, I'll share something she said.  Kea often says things that are just slightly off.  Like recently she has been singing, "Deck the halls with Austin Collie."  (For those of you whose houses are not dominated by football speak, Austin Collie is a receiver for the Colts.)  Anyway, a couple of days ago, we were at a restaurant when she says
 
Kea (in a fairly loud voice): Hey, Mom.  What's that bad word you don't want us saying?  Was it Niger?

Me: (looking around frantically to make sure no one's staring at us): No. That's a place in Africa, right above Nigeria.

Kea: But I swear you said we shouldn't call people Nigers.

Me: Um, no.  But how about we save this conversation for home?

Self-Defense Class Gone WAY Wrong

This is one of the craziest things you will see.  It's kind of a long story about how this person, who I am related to, even ended up doing what she was doing.  But here are a few things you need to know:

1) The man is NOT wearing protection.

2) The man IS creepy.  We made her promise she would not go back again, but we didn't really need to twist her arm.

3)  This was actually part of a challenge in which she could win money.  She tried but failed.

4) It's kind of a long video, but minute 2:00 is where I really lost it.

My Daughter the Arsonist

For Showcase Friday, I bring you a series of events.

1) A note Maile randomly wrote to friend and co-worker Christian.

2) His response

3) Her response to his response

4) Then at 3:00 . . .

 and

5)

Also, for those of you in town, Ally Condie's signing for Matched is tomorrow at 2:00 at The King's English.

The Lost Saint

Need Christmas present ideas?  Here's the perfect one from Bree Despain.

A Male Strip Show Thanksgiving?

Thanksgiving weekend highlights:

1) Spent Thanksgiving in Las Vegas.  For dinner, Grant and I thought it would be a fun surprise to take the kids to see the Tournament of Kings at the Excalibur.
Tournament of Kings is a dinner show with dancing ladies, knights in armor, jousting, etc.
Tournament of Kings is NOT a male strip show.

Maile: Did you guys just buy tickets for Thunder From Down Under?
Me: Huh-wha? Um.  No. We got tickets for Tournament of Kings.
Maile: Okay, good because I was going to be like, "Really, Mom?  That show is like totally inappropriate."

I know I'm a bad mom, but even I know you shouldn't take your daughters to Thunder from Down Under until they're at least ten, right?

Anyway, we get there, and they bring out the food, which is supposed to be eaten with your fingers.

Maile: Really?  Are you kidding me?  No forks.  What is this, the middle of evil times?
Me: You mean medieval?
Maile: That's what I said.

2) Kea's soccer tournament, which was actually a pretty sad state of affairs.  She was guest-playing for a team, and in three games, the team scored zero goals.  Nada.  Zip.  Fortunately Kea could care less about winning, so she had a good time.

3) Friend Sam was in town! 

This never happens.  Whenever we go to St. George, he and his family always come up to where we live, and we end up missing each other.  Even better news was that friend Ben and his family happened to be there at the same time so we all got to go to dinner together.

 So how was your Thanksgiving?